I let Go

I let go of love today and the wind no
longer stirred the trees
The rays of sunlight that had earlier fell
outside my window, have now retracted into
a bottomless void
I no longer see the flutterby floating
above the grass
The flowers once full of living color
now hang with heads low in sorrow
I let go of love today and have forgotten how to breathe
My heart no longer beats
My eyes no longer see the new day
My ears no longer hear the chirping of birds
The strength of love has left my body weak
My hear is empty, a cage that holds nothing
only a door left open
I let go of love today
I wonder will I even be greeted by it again with you
If only you had captured it, refusing it to
leave you

Copyright ©2003 Gayla Michelle Fritts

Impressions in the Sand

The footprints of life has not one pattern leading in only one direction

No, indeed there are many sets and designs that overlap and intertwine

But what of the impressions in the sand?

One would say that only a set leading in one direction showed success

And think nothing of the deep imprints of all the rest.

What of the deep impressions in the sand?

It showed not the glory of wealth or the importance of self

No, it showed the little things that are worth more weight than the rest

Kind words whispered at the worst times,

Filled with compassion and healing, not concerned with the rhyme

Deep ugly holes left in the sand

Left from the carrying of another to dry, solid land

Circles that seem to cover the sand

Does it show the soul of a confused weary man?

No, it shows a gift from above,

The circles are patters of undying love

So, what of all the various impressions in the sand ?

What is the verdict, what does it show of this being?

It means that selfless love and chosen words are the lasting patterns we are seeing

Little Bird
I stood outside a building
and something caught my eye

I noticed sheet rock from the ceiling

and on one knee I looked up kneeling

What I saw was a hole -not unusual to see
Except a little bird had made a nest of
twigs fallen from trees

I stood up for a closer look to see inside the nest
And what I found were baby birds leaned against her feathered breast

I tried to leave but once again something caught my eye
I saw a flock of bigger birds try to get inside

Feathers blew, twigs fell out - I heard a piercing cry!
The little bird had fought and won

                                                                                                                …. but the little bird had died

One

Peeking over a blanket draped over my

forehead. I face your face as you slumber.

Our spirits - are they separate or one?

You with your blue eyes - mine of green.

You are tall and broad chested..I, small

and petite.

Yet earlier when you held me, the oddest

sensation took over me. Where did your

body stop and mine begin?

We were one -we are one. Yet, we are separate

by thoughts.

My breathing adjusts to yours, my heart slows

to your pace.

Your frowns cause my spirit to fall. Your

smiles lift my soul into the Milky Way

where it floats out into the shape of a

rainbow.

It is there that I stay suspended until you

open your eyes from sleep.

Our eyes lock...again we are one.

Rain…rain

The rain outside my bedroom window pours

making melody as it lands

The sky is gray in color

Yet, there is a hint that the sun does in

fact exist

The wind furiously blows the rain sideways

Still, I am unafraid

There is no thunder heard, no lightening

is seen - just rain

Rain that washes away a bad dream, rain

that cleanses a lonely heart

Rain that makes one want to pick up a good

book

Rain that compels my lover to pull me close

to him - spooning

I want to be outside in the rain, I want my

tears to mingle with it

I want to splash and dance in it

I want to sing and giggle with it

I am drenched in nature as it trickles down my cheek

I feel alive!

Rain… rain please stay, go away but not today

The Shadow of You

In the still of the night,
the winds play a sleepy serenade outside my
bedroom window.
I close my eyes as the moonlight fades,
and my vision is sharpened by the shadow of you.
I can see your eyes searching for mine,
the ship searches for the unlit harbor in a never ending darkness.
I can hear the whisper from your lips,
warmth of breath acts as the sun's ray upon my shivering soul.
Feeling the touch of your hand on my face, soothing, strong, careful.
The heart has a piercing cry, beating, beckoning, calling me to it.
Floating in a current, desire, wonderment, and love.
Your smile that carries me, the reach that pulls me to you.
Wrapped up in a single moment in time.
Awake as the darkness continues outside my window.
Left alone with my thought, yearning,
I dream... that your vision is sharpened by the shadow of me.

Stolen Moments

Pressed between two pages I find time – guarded. In my mind I revert back to it often.

There is no vitality left in it –it has withered and dehydrated. It now rests flat.

It once was lustrous with its bounteous colors and extended stem. The aroma of it was supreme.

It brought pulchritude and veneration to the two who gazed upon it.

Although it was well beloved by two lovers fortuitous enough to experience it – it was stolen.

They thought that time conformed to them exclusively but they were misguided.

For time conformed to another in addition to the two lovers.

Another who was graced with time, time was eternity. One who never conceived someone else had stolen it from her. One who never missed time or even craved or yearned for it as the other had. Time was not appreciated.

Time was created from sequences of moments – captured here and there. The euphoria was present, but never sustained them for the shadow that hid them was time, and time waits for no one or so the cliché goes.

Limitations of time weighed heavy on their minds – “perhaps we will find time today from 3:00 to 4:30”? Encountered indeed! But after the stolen moment has passed, one of the lovers wept wanting more of it – “come back time” you left so hastily when love was present, now in my solitude and longing for - you cling to me with premeditation…slowly…eternity of you …time…alone”.

I render to you the stolen moments but you will not accept them, time.

Tabula Rasa

I act as I am,

Modeled not from before nativity

Anchored not with my initial gasp

I counter as I am,

Composed of fragments varied

Encountering both fair and unfavorable

I progress through creation as I am,

My existence not undistorted

I pursue as I am,

Detached, yet reminded that in all things there is binding

I cease to exist as I am,

Shifting, changing, finding portion to the question - now consummated

I discover who I am,

Not what I looked for, more lustrous, unadulterated, and withstanding infinity

Tabula Rasa...every area covered with my timelessness

The Endowment of Nature

Elysium, let me become all that nature is for my beloved's behalf

For one fleeting moment in time, allow me to possess all of the elements that she contains

Let me be the tranquil current that cools

his forehead when it is hot from his toil

Let me be the sun's flicker that makes warm his heart when he is apart from mortal touch

Let me be the rain that cleanses the

apprehensions that stain his spirit

Let me be the dove perched on a shade tree

to remind him of the delicacy and guilelessness of life

Let me be the snowfall of stars shimmering upon him, whispering the footpath back home

The Little Things

The faint smell of cologne still lingers on your chest -

I rest my head there and inhale you, never wanting to exhale for fear of losing the scent.

I feel the warmth of your breath on my back as you cradle me and I am safe - I am still ... for fear of losing the feel of your presence.

Your words memorize in my mind - the tone, the intent, the softness.

I am quiet and listen for fear of forgetting your sound.

I look deep in your eyes of blue and see love and I am still.

I dare not blink for fear of losing that love.

I see your sweat pants draped across the bed but it is not the clothing you wear when I see you. You are cloaked in honor and wear gentleness and integrity. It never wears out and cannot be stained.

The "little things" ...the little things about you compel me to love you without caution - completely.

THE TRUTH

The truth is us.

The essence of us is the same whether we are together or apart.

The weaknesses that are within you, reside in me.

Your strengths are also mine.

We love each other unconditionally with ease.

We look for the same truths together or apart.

Our being was split apart but now is made whole again.

There is nothing else.

There is only us and the truth.

Thief

Your allowance of time robbing us of each other, burns within in me like a candle lit for eternity.

The wax never melting down to invisibility, the wick - long and scorched.

Such rage! Rage! Rage against my beloved for taking our time as a thief.

Moments lost into nothingness, yearning and loneliness suspended, stagnant in the waters of future.

One moment without you is a thousand smiles, a hundred touches, millions of words that play without ceasing in my mind. Comfort is lost in repetitive silence.

Curse you! Taker of time! Be it lost on silly hours without substance. No retribution is sought for none can restore time forever stolen from me.

Fragments

Fragmented pieces of love cast off colors
of orange and blue.
Scattered about here and there. In the
corner you may see a piece of hope. On
the carpets you may step on a jagged
piece of future.
Not at all what it used to
look like.
In my hand I hold your love, a tiny sliver.
Though it stings me to clutch, I
can not let it go.

Gayla Michelle Fritts

Copyright ©2003 Gayla Michelle Fritts

Summer of Immortality

When comeths the time of childhood play?

In fields of wild daffodils sleepily we lay.

The wind sings a lullaby, signaling the end,

Of fairies or pirates that had come to defend

When cometh the time for honeysuckles picked?

Pale softness peeled back and sweet nectar licked.

Warm sun blankets dreams of those growing old

Lost childlike dreams leave memories cold

Run fast on the coolness of green, summer grass,

Run fast with each breath, dare that breath be your last

Stretch out in the daylight, cool earth to your touch

Lose nothing in dreaming,

Least you choose to lose much.

Spirit Moving

My mind has your shadow memorized, and as I draw upon recollection I find myself lost within you.

Swirling blue foam clouds lift me up to them as I float on memories of you and I am wrapped in blue-hazel. In your eyes I see reflection of your soul.

The essence of you illuminating me warms my skin as that of an infant first born. The being of you heightens all of my senses and I find myself being drawn closer to you without any resistance.

                I linger as long as I possibly can – begging not to leave.

 I am released as the heavens are flung open and all of the jagged pieces of myself are untied and left to go and search out that which will make me whole.

My spirit has found the smallest key that unlocks all of the darkness, joy, life, desires, and freedom that has been pressed into the smallest of spaces within my mind.

Rays of your boundless love have resuscitated my soul whispering “come out, your are safe now”.

 Encircle me! Enclose upon me until I suffocate in you – take my last breath so that I may forever feel the immortality of your love – untouched,

The Last Leaf

Petrified brown bark silently waits as
new green dots the winter-damaged tree

Ah, the soothing silky leaves comfort its
skin, smoothing the cracked, dry surface

Thoughts of shivering nakedness are replaced
with the covering of new hope, warm and snug

The tree dances and shakes its new garment
laughing in all of its splendor

Welcoming all of nature giving it shelter
loneliness is a faint memory now

First chills of change turn the green to
orange and red, it glows with glory

All to soon, cold air hanging drops to
its knees, kissing the colors of the tree

One by one, orange, red, brown, and yellow
fall

Nature bids farewell, leaving the tree

 alone
naked and shivering with out its cloak,

As the last leaf falls

The Movement of the Hands

Sun spotted hands, pale and showing its age

The movement is eager

as its reaches for the tiny delicate life that

 had remained hidden for nine months

The movement is gentle

 as it picks up the

precious girl that scraps her knee

The movement is strong

 as it protects the

child from the world around her.

The movement is swift and angry

 as

it closes the door behind the

troubled young adult

The movement is weak

 as it wipes the flow of tears

from the eyes of a worried mother

The movement is shaky

 as it tries to push the telephone numbers

 knowing the ring will be ignored

The movement is clasped together

 perhaps in prayer or perhaps wringing each other

loving...missing...wanting to reach

 for the delicate life that remains hidden from her

The Window

She gazes out of a window tainted with a brownish haze,

Portions are vague, only a fragment of the scenery is viewable.

She presses her nose closer to the windowpane,

Only catching glimpses from the glare of the world behind her.

Her eyes are open but she cannot see,

She throws her desperation against the window until it chips and cracks.

Distorted from damage, only jagged angles are viewable,

Self- realization takes place as she gently opens

 the window.

To Cast Away

To cloak you with love is to throw a lifeline into a hurricane.

Although there is chance of saving, through the eye of your storm rescue can never be thought of.

There is only perplexity set with incomprehension heard over the crying

soul shouting, "My waters are calm!"

The tempest and the tranquil can never co-exist.

The yen of connections can never touch one another.

The spirit of living and that of letting go can never experience each

other.

Scorn time that has the supremacy of healing or of making rupture!

Curse fate that threw us together in jest for but a meager morsel to

taste!

The heart was famished for all that was made know to it.

Let love then fade with the sunset, let it close with the daylight.

Show not yourself, love, in a sunrise.

Pluck the petals off the blooms of romance shrivel I beg!

I want not to remember the knowledge of what could have been, only to be able to live with what is.

  _____

Untitled

 Your skin glows as the moonlit sky,

Blossoms gentle as the white orchid in the purest hope of spring.
    My heart follows your intoxicating voice and leaps like a lion at the whisper of your name.
    The evening floats in on a great eagle wing.
    Your scarf that I carry into the twilight of Parisbeams and hold next to my neck comforts me. 
    I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of past abandonment. 
    As my hand falls from my glove, it reminds me of your soul. 
    In the quiet, I listen for the last whisper of the day.
    My famished eyes leaps toward my own reflection.

    I wait in the moonlight for your secret arrival so that we may reach as one,

eyes to eyes, in search of the magnificent blue and mystical dwelling of our love